1.介绍万绿湖有此句:“景区有一条十八里流水淙淙的石峡清溪,溪中怪石千姿百态活灵活现,山涧瀑布飞溅气象万千,生机盎然”。
原译为:Scenic area within a flowing water through in Shixia brook, all kinds of stones in brook looks lifelike, water of waterfall splash in kinds shape and birds live happily.
译文紧扣原文翻译,导致结构松散,不符合英语规范,译者应理清原句逻辑关系,根据英语句法结构重新组织译文顺序,建议改译为:
Beautiful,glistening water flows through Shixia Brook scenic area. Many kinds of stones, some with lifelike shapes decorate the splashing waterfalls with many varieties of birds flying happily.
2.介绍桂山有此句:“这里峰峦叠翠,林海莽莽,各种附生、藤生、灌生、乔木纵横交错,遮天蔽日,各种珍禽异兽嬉闹林间,生机盎然”。
原译:Here the mountains of green jade and forest, all kinds of accessory,lianas,shrubberies are is across and cover all the sun,all kinds of rare animals plays in the forest.
译文很累赘,译者应透过“虚象”看实质,找出具体形象,做到化“虚”为“实”,择取对译文读者有阅读价值的信息,译出符合英语审美心理和欣赏习惯的译文来。
建议改译为:Here,jade forests,rare animals and lianas adorn the mountains under the beautiful sun.
3.太阳岛上介绍“杨梅寨”有此句:“修林荫道,四周点缀了花卉奇松,碧绿的湖水与绿中透红的梅林融为一体,相得益彰。”此句原译:
There is a small road with the green grass and flowers in the bayberry forest. The dark green water is integrated with them each other.
英语风格简约,用字简约,译者只需抓住原文意思, 明了表达即可。笔者建议改译为:
There is a small road with green grass and flowers in the bayberry forest. The dark green water flows beautifully amongst the flowers and trees.
旅游景点的英译是集宣传与文化介绍为一体的二度创作,因此,旅行社和景点管理者要重视自身的对外形象,严格控制旅游文本翻译错误。为此笔者建议,旅游部门或者旅行社要采取各种措施引进专业人才,也可交由翻译公司代劳,最终还需提交英语专家把关,层层检查核实。此外,我们要借鉴国外与其他旅游翻译先进城市经验,尽量减少甚至杜绝翻译错误与缺失,让河源地区旅游翻译走上正规,与国际接轨。
参考文献:
[1]许建平,张荣曦.翻译中的措辞、语气与句式重心问题[J].清华大学学报(哲学社会科学版),2012(5):85-86.
[2]袁晓宁.谈形合与意合研究中存在的不足[J].东南大学学报(哲学社会科学版),2011(5):104-107.